Your problem isn't the problem.

It's about the relationship. And you're a facilitator...

Ideas and tools inside:

  1. Jim Beddow on problems and relationships.

  2. Liz Weaver on collaboration.

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What’s your real problem?

Today, an idea from the most impactful mentor of my life.

“The problem usually isn’t the problem. The problem is usually the relationship.”

Dr. James Beddow

Ever found yourself in a room facilitating a group of people at odds over a project or strategy? When the stress and conflict start bubbling over? I've been there too, and you know what? The solution often boils down to one thing: trust. They just need to learn to trust each other better.

When things get tough with a relationship in your business, what if you hit the pause button instead of trying to power through? Take a breather and ask yourself, "How can I improve just one relationship that's connected to this problem?" Yup, just focus on one. Give that person some TLC, and you'll be amazed at how things start to turn around.

Less territorial battles, more trust-building.

Here’s Jim and me after a long day of facilitating.

But what is our experience of collaboration? We feel the pressure to perform. Get right down to it. We don’t check in with each other or talk about expectations and constraints. In fact, we do everything that is counterintuitive to trust building; we busily become turf builders.

Liz Weaver

Less turf, more trust

Check out this old but gold nugget of wisdom from Liz Weaver. She nails it: collaboration skyrockets when people stop defending their own turf. And you know what brings those walls down? Trusting one another.

More trust, less turf. Less trust, more defending.

from Liz Weaver

You're already a pro at navigating these turf/trust dynamics in your facilitation work. But are you applying them to your business relationships too?

If you find this newsletter helpful, could you forward it to a facilitator friend or two you know?

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